Why People are happy to have been there and done that?

Why people are happy to have been there and done that? Experiences give out many things that make people happy about it. Whether it gives them pure pleasure, or a sense of accomplishment or some memories of it which makes them relive that pleasure in their mind, or some experiences just give you a lot of knowledge and improves yourself. But lets try to figure out why exactly these things are good

Fundamental purpose of Life :When a single celled amoeba consumes a piece of organic material around, and gets bigger in size and then reproduces/splits into two – the end result of the whole process a piece of organic thing being converted into the form of an amoeba. So the life force present in the original amoeba, has impacted surrounding matter. So thats the only objective behind every life/matter and the force that makes them..to make an impact someway on the medium around(it wud be a good thing to refer to my ‘The medium’ post). The only bad thing for a force is not make its impact on anything…or do something that ultimately leads to ceasing of its existence as an organism/ unit and its impact on anything . When organic/living things turn to dust,the stationary forces within the matter of dust doesnt get to make a lot of impact on surrounding objects, only living things do in comparison. Thus the existence of force as an alive organism is better than being trapped in a dead/lifeless object – i mean you gotta imagine this from the level of a basic force not from the point of an advanced being.

Why we seek what we seek: The motivations behind people wanting to climb up the social ladder and wanting to be with hot/rich/powerful people is that when you are with them, you have both made an impact on them. Thats why its good. All those people at the top – rich,powerful,hot are all the ones that are making more of an impact in this world. people with power,money,creativity,kindness ..,whether you can accept and imagine it or not, will be able to make more of an impact. The same goes to hot people. Coz hot people somehow make heads turn, tend to get to preferred and get to the top and influence the other impactful people. Maybe you can appreciate someone who can feed a 100 poor for a day or a month, but the CEO of a large corp defintley makes a bigger impact in this world overall by influencing many people as possible. And thats why you are trying to maximise your impact by trying to being with those at the top and impacting them who inturn impact alot of others.With a hot partner , you think you can have a hot kid – your creation who will be more impactful. So I guess now you’ll be able to understand the totality of wanting to be with hot/successful/impactful people.

Now the human/animal brain is not perfect..We are supposed to feel pleasure for the things that increases our survival and the above objective and feel pain for things that decreases our objective. However, take the case of drug addicts or people who eat too much food..or just the act of jacking off, people feel pleasure doing these but it does not necessarily mean that they have made a big impact or positively contributed to their objective through that particular act. The same pleasure is felt by someone who actually impregnates a partner,brings a kid into this world and makes a big impact that way, compared to someone who is just doing it wearing a condom or just wacking off to porno.  So more pleasurable existence doesnt mean a more impactful existence. Although good looking people (or rather people higher in component 1b below) will make heads turn and have more chance of influencing people, really intelligent people have a chance of affecting a lot of people/lives in a big way by means of inventing something or becoming a leader/ public intellectual etc – and thus people with higher score in component 1c has a higher chance of making a really big impact on the world. In order to make an impact , it doesnt mean one has to mingle and keep socialising all the time with all the people. People also are selective in choosing their friends and circle coz they dont wanna waste their effort on someone who is easily impressed – coz with those people the impact you made on them will be short lived. Or if some one was to hang out with dumb or classless people, what they are and their confidence level decreases and has a negative impact on themselves. So people do exercise discretion, but sub-consciously its all about maximising your objective function – which is to make an impact.

Who has had the better life? and who should be more happy?

So whose more awesome brad pitt type or eisnstein type or a world record setting mountaineer type? The factors by which you can evalutate yourself against other people are

I had already talked about(in other blogs) about why experiences pertaining to sex are more exciting than experiences pertaining to intellectual and other kinda achievements. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to impact/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in some way.  For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence/have influenced people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick. the same goes with being a scientist and creating technology that touches lives. But lets now try and classify this properly

1) inherent potential - The mountaineer has worked hard trained hard put in a lot of work to build up this skill level. But this mountain climbing skill doesnt necessarily help him impact/influence people/society at large compared to a guy who devlops a little swag/class and impresses a lot of people. There are 3 aspects to ones Inherent potential ( who is greater/better than who)

a) Pure potential level:  Based on the sheer effort (including all kinds of efforts taken historcally over generations , from the perspective of groups) required to achieve this

A world record mountaineer :  70

brad pitt : 80 ( considering the fact that looks,class,confidence,background etc takes generations to build up..and this also from a group perspective and not just a personal thing)

Einstein : 100

President : 90

b) Ability to seek pleasure out of the skill: potential to get as many pleasurable moments

Mountaineer : 30

Scientist : 40

President: 60

Brad pitt : 100

c) ability to influence and make an impact

Mountaineer : 10

Einstein/Technology people : 100

President : 90

Brad pitt : 50

2a) Experienced positive moments - It is the actual positive moments one experiences. generally guys with the swag factor tend to have more positive moments in life. In the above factor 1b we say brad pitt has more chances of having a pleasurable life, but what if he is locked up somewhere? and it doesnt happen

2b) Future positive moments (projected through your fitness for Life) - This takes into combination all of a persons’ skill level/inherent potential multiplied by a factor of pleasure gradient. When one sees another person, we also think about how well this guys is gonna live it up or not in the future. its the same as Factor 1b

3a) Actual Impact made : the impact made by the life force that makes up your cells, on the other living/non-living things in this world and shapes future events and things. This is the ultimate purpose of the life force within you . I mean the higher scores in 2a, probably higher here as well but not always the case like explained above. even an average guy can get to save the lives of a lot of people and be impactful and a hero/villain in this world.

3b) Projected Impact Made : Its the same as 1c

So some people might be very skillfull/talented. Some people might have a very pleasurable/positive life. But the main purpose of life is to be an impactful person. Me personally and obviously would categorise myself as the intellectual type rather than from a attractive/fun background/circle. But thats okay..i get around 10-15 visitors to my blog a day, 1 or 2 i guess read em and ponder over what i write seriously. Atleast once a week people search ‘jayanpsk blog’ and things like that to come back and read abt various things i say and this is pretty goodfor me considering the profound nature of subjects i deal with(and not many people would concede any appreciable abstraction). So I consider myself making more of an impact that those  english speaking-wannabe coconuts and supposedly living it up , hi-fi crowd from bangalore or bombay or bengal or wherever. Im from chennai and I rock

South Indian looks

Attraction works like this – the second you see a person, you are creating a picture of him/her in your mind based on a number of factors like looks,body language, personality,things that person does,status,background, etc etc etc and EXTRAPOLATE that it into what they are and  how you will be dealing with them.  Aggressive,animalistic, outgoing, bold,childish traits in a persons outlook extrapolates into being naughty,playful, fun..do whatever one pleases attitude and ready to be bad and seek pleasure.. and ultimately more sexualy stimulating / fun having. Traits such as conservativeness,maturity,disciplined,decent,less aggressive ..extrapolates into being  not very natural,childish  and consequently not aggressive enough to pursue pleasure and hence less fun. I mean you always reciprocate (from a very subconscious level) what you see in the other person and if you categorise him/her in the first way you also try to be more engaging with them, but if you categorise them the later way you tend to be more conservative with them.
So many people will go for naturally childish/immature ones rather than mature and serious thinkers, and we tend to associate Childish, neotenous look and features with attraction and tend to VALUE it more than a mature outlook. So its complicated here…we value neoteny(light headedness and less thought) but intelligence(usually associated with maturity) can also be stimulating only if it is more stimulating/engaging in a fun way
The reason there are disproportionately high number of north indian women in south indian movies is because they are highly neotenous(both physically and intellectually).
Whats a turnoff  in may south indians is that they think to much about unnecessary things about culture,morality and how to carry oneself and do not focus on feeling genuinely playful and sexy. This applies to even the Hi-Fi crowd of the south who are into heavy metal, discuss high funda things, who do drugs and think they are more westernised and think of themselves as the bohemian crowd of india. Some one who is playful/light headed  most of the time come across as more attractive/fun compared to even people who are playful 50% of the time and are serious/mature the rest of the time. Not that the intelligent/mature person doesnt know how to be playful, but…its just when people think about the former, the picture/impression in their mind is –  pure playfulness and the latter is half playful and half serious. And for dating n fun, people who come across as more fun are preferred. I meanbe honest – wud you have a sex with vidya balan or with kareena kapoor/priyanka chopra ( although vidya is also fair, sharp features and very intelligent)
For south indians to become attractive like north, we do not have to dumb down though( also dumb peoples actions are childish and that sorta triggers attraction inmany cases).Intellectual neoteny actually means the people are capable of absorbing more information. the problem with south indian thinking is we apply some pre-conceived logic to everything that we come across hence arises the conservativeness in the name of culture..  n stuff all of which makes one quite boring.
Take bengali beauties like raima sen( whose look is similar to the look of a south indian girl like the similarity between bengalis and dravidians) indicating that one can be attractive and sensual and thoughtful too.I guess one has to try to keep laughing in a sexy way and feel sexy and attractive most of the time to become attractive..this is how most bengali girls are. i mean the physical factors also greatly helps but there are many bengali girls who are quite dark.. and still very sexy..like real life girls that you come across in many cities.
Although surya has good eyes..he is still constipated. One has to tryand be like Madhavan..who is constantly giving out the right kinda playful signals. This also explains why rajini is bigger than kamal. An example ofwestern actor who is both intelligent and a playboy is…sam rockwell. have these people as you role models
Its not the Aryan Vs Dravidian or ANI vs ASI difference between Indians but .its just the amount of hormones and thought process that accounts for the same.
Sun is the worst enemy of skin/muscles  attraction and strength of the species. The sun damages, stretches, makes skin dry, saggy,takes of all the juices, makes muscles saggy, darker, melanin affecting the synthesis of compunds lik Vit D andother juices, and not firmer. Sun/temperature also breaks down COLLAGEN protein which makes the skin/muscles firmer, juicier and healthy…all these contributing to anti-neoteny.Our primary attraction is toward the FLESH of an organism, if its a saggy and not of a healthy looking form, we cannot be attracted to that.This healthy form cannot be just attained in one generation by exercising. All these factors accumulate into the genetics over a long period of time, and hence the difference in physical traits of people from different continent. And we are unlucky because we have been getting cooked in this hot climate for thousands of years while some others have enjoyed moderate climate. But dont say people in ooty are the same…they have mixed with the other people from TN. Read the links if you need more information on this and put together a bigger picture.
http://www.chemistryexplained.com/Ce-Co/Collagen.html
http://criticalmas.com/2009/04/can-cold-weather-exposure-increase-muscle-growth/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dry-skin/DS00560/DSECTION=causes http://www.mybodybeautiful.co.uk/Beauty/Skin/Skin%20Factors.htm http://realmdeity.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/the-blessing-in-blackness-thoughts-on-melanin/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attraction#Skin_color http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness#Facial_features http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoteny http://www.indiaparenting.com/beauty/beauty006.shtml http://www.ehow.com/how-does_5220937_sun-damage-eyes_.html http://www.womentowomen.com/healthynutrition/vitamind.aspx
north and south Indians are culturally and genetically closest to each other compared to any other ethnic group like say persians or arabs… The differences in intellect are primarily are brought about from the physical differences and only to a small extent based on history..for eg. the guptas  or magadhas  or mauryas before covered all of what people consider the northern part( i mean the marathis and  orissa up to kashmir,indus in the north-west front) ..and so that belt was sorta were culturally similar.
Even in the hottest places of the northern belt, they had a mix of both hot and cold seasons..as in if it was hotter for i\9 onths, at least for 3 months they had cold season. The cold weather makes muscles stronger and firmer and also gives rise to firm/sharp and neotenous features. This mix of climate is very good biologically speaking in contrast to an monotonous climate. And in the south, the climate was mainly hot with the exception of hilly regions and it does not get as cold and chilly as it gets up north. This makes skin,musles dry and saggy or slightly puffy features – however you would describe it. These skin n muscles never get a chance to firm up as there are no cold seasons in the year. And so the physical features of south indians are less neotenous(youthful is the simple translation)..like non-flatter face, bigger eyes, lesser distance between eyes, nose and mouth compared to the rest of the facial area, dark dry and thick skin etc.
One cannot claim that physical neoteny will not have any effect on the intellectual neoteny of people. A society,  of group of people where its people have a lot of neotenous features will feel and act more neotenous and thereby making the culture of the group more neotenous, and the neotenous culture(with more singing,dancing, liberal attitude, forth coming and aggressiveness) will also shape and re-inforce neoteny in the physical looks and the faces of its people.
So even a smaller percentage of physical  differences can sometime lead to a lot of differences..for example a society where there are 60% physically neotenous people-their culture is mainly going to be neotenous. Whereas a society where 60% of its people have mature physical traits and 40% noetenous traits..here the culture of the society will tend to be more mature. And if the culture is mature, the later generations will be more mature and if the culture is neotenous, the later generations will be more neotenous.
the community of deepika padukone..gowd saraswat brahmins..even though they have nice and fair features, they are quite mature because of the cultural closeness of konkani with kanada and south, and hence deepika comes across as distinctly mature as comapred to someone from maharashtra- closer to karnataka border. The only north indian actress who strikes me as a mature(not naturally neotenous in behaviour) person is madhuri dixit. I cannot think of any south indian actress who is not mature
Some other examples of how the culture you are in affects your look. When i try to look for mudaliar brides in Bharath matrimony, I can notice how some of them born and brought up in the north, with not too strict of parenting look more cuter and look just like north indians. If you browse saurashtran profiles( who supposedly settled in TN some 300 years back), they look very similar to south indians despite having fair skin. And take the examples of Madhavan and swara bhaskar or meghna naidu, they look and act more of north indian than typical south indian faces.

We just have to hope that we get out skills right , work hard, emigrate to places where there is good climate and resources and consume healthy food and eventually we will become healthier, have happy lives an become attractive. So the next generation of parents should not encourage their kids not just to become doctors or engineers(because previously we thought only this will make ones life better) but ask them to be successful in emigrating to places where theres good climate,resources and where the culture is more neotenous..like north india and other parts of the world. The longer you stagnate here in south, others are gonna come in and dominatee us, so we have to expand.
If you are a person that feels bad that southies dont have the look/fun factor, your offsprings are probably gonna feel the same. Thats why its important for us to expand to other cities and try to give a chance to our offsprings to be part of a fun circle.otherwise even they will continue to feel poor/hopeless in aspects of being fun and attractive. Unfortunately not many can just relocate to other places leaving behind their family,friends and job. But if they can get an easy/comfortable job, other things can follow like making new friends and finding other members of community and keep life interesting despite living out of Tamil nadu. So  capitalists/business owners all should set up funds and businesses oriented towards helping fellow community members expand to other places..this is just like how the gujarati/marwari communities do business, primarily helping out members of their own community. If you cant get into retail, if you are into I.T. you can very well set up offices and help people relocate and expand.But expanding is very important. I mean before calling me a sectarian, you should look at what the TATA sons is doing for parsi community and how marwaris or certain sections of muslims and other sects do their business.

Tamil Pride

Everything that life forms do(move, eat, reproduce), they do for survival.
For humans, we are not just trying to preserve our genes( which are prone to 1000 molecular leisons per second per cell)
but also other things that are ours like our language in which we think, the set of morals, traits and the system of life we have developed in other words culture.
When Globalisation Starts and people start mixing,, the competitive game of who has had a better existence stops ..and the ones who have had the better existence so far wins. SO dont worry about changes in you culture and life anymore….this is a new phase and we have won the previous one.
Success of a group ( genetic) = number of years of survival * average number of people beloging to that group * percentage of genetic make up of the specimen(1 for pure and .5, .25 and so on for mixed races) quality of life/resource accessible
Success of a trait ( language/culture/religion etc) = number of years of survival * average number of people having that trait * percentage of how much the trait contributes to the individual character * quality of life/resource accessible (+ a fraction of success of a child trait – for example if a new language came from your language)
Now us tamils/southies, have lived well for thousands of years with producing great minds and people, compared to the Northern Kingdoms which were constantly war prone because of confrontation from outside as well between each other.
But we are now having to deal with a lot of issues and questions in this day and age where the world is becoming a global village.
Living in a hot climate has only given us dark, dry, thick, sagging skin and muscle tissues which are not neotenous or attractive.
However, we are good thinkers, cultured, considerate, less aggressive and a Good group of people in general.
And for this reason, our Language, culture and attitude must survive and we must strive to propogate it.
Emigrating to other places and increasing our population is how you expand. Take the communist state examples of kerala and bengal.
the states are not developed but emphasises and preserves its culture better and its people emigrate and are becoming affluent and a stronger community in other places.
If our state develops, it attracts leeches like marwari’s who dominate the retail industry in our city shops , who instead of trying to integrate with the local community dominate us with their fair skin and maintain exclusive Hindi circles amonst them.
Instead we have to start our businesses and use our skills to dominate the industries in the North.
Its okay if north becomes more developed, but our communities should flourished there and expand gradually and permanently with a long term plan. and it would also prevent the leeches from coming down south.
We should focus or energy on creating skilled emigrators and leaders who can engineer a stronger community for us in north and else where.
We need to set up good Social Sciences institutes and Social groups to analyse and plan our existence and propogation. And political philosophy and parties being able to implement these agenda.
Arent we excited when we hear that Tamils winning nobel prizes or being in high paying silicon valley jobs other positive stats about us? So  Tamils should atleast try to become affluent and significant in number in other places so that we can get happiness in knowing how successful we have been in expanding
All Indians are our brothers and sisters from the Indus Valey Civilisation, But within India, the southies are culturally more closer with each other.
I belong to a originaly tulu speaking community.I am a tuluva vellalar..once a tulu speaking community who came into CHola territory, helped him and became Mudaliyars and adopted Tamil a 1000 years ago.  To be precise we are referred to as arcot mudaliars/tuluva vellala/agamudayar. It is said that before coming to arcot, we were part of the veera ballala(hoysala) king. However agamudayar also refers to the Thevars(mukkulathor) of south tamil nadu with surnames such as Rayar. Krishna thevar raya was also a tulu king and statred the tuluva dynasty. So my immediate association would be to that of tuluva vellalars and Agamudayars/thevars. I also realise that ever since aishwariya rais and the anushka shetty’s became famous, people wanna get associated with the bunts.  So the hegdes,nairs,naidus,nayaks,Gounders,gowda,mudaliars,pillais were all part of the very ancient group called velir/vellalars, who assumed different clans and titles under different region and kingdom. I mean I guess apart from the southern tamil empires, the satvahanas,chalukyas,kakatyas and their chieftans also had common ancestry with the vellalars who came down from the north and who were called yadavas,rajputs or gujjars or whatever. This can be seen from the common surname shared by some velirs like bal,koli etc. So All in all its good that most people of south India share a recent common ancestry by the vellalar and other corresponding group in other kingdoms(like chalukya,rashtrakuta,satvahana etc).Some vellalar chieftans became stronger and big enough ti be called kings..like chera/chola/pandiya pallava or hoysala or chalukya or rashtrakuta.  Regarding the other castes like mallar or pallalars…I wud still say they are the same  group pf people coming from north to south and clearing the forests, but they were rather labourers than chieftans. ( I know that it could get very casty here, but the important thing to establish here is our common ancestry.  With so much politics involved, the history is very muddy, but overall we have to now that we came from the same original group even though later we kinda fought quarrelled amongst ourselves – until we were united by the vijaynagaram empire to fight the muslims and later the british as indians. Like I said my immediate association is with the agamudayars and tuluva vellalars, but a lot of us spoke different language at different times and assumed different titles. Im guessing before tulu, we spoke some other language – really old tamil or telugu- btw I think that since archealogical evidence of telugu existed before tamil- like telugu inscriptions were found dated 5th century BC in the satvahana empire, and group of people/chieftans who came and cleared the forests here had to first settle down in andhra/karnataka before coming down south, i wud say that tamil might have come from telugu speakers.
Now these are times of globalisation and migration and in 200 years time Indians are gonna get mixed up with no saying who is from where.
So analysing out existence so far,Indians have lived well for around 5000 years compared to europe which was very war prone with the average lifetime of men in rome( the most civilised period of their existnce ) being only 28. The europeans are more of an aggressive mixed up, bastards than anyone else. For eg..they have 3 different groups to begin with, that come under the category white 1) indo-aryans,2)finno-Urgic, 3) Turkish/mongol. Even amongst the Indo-aryans..there are different groups like slavic,nordic,germanic,goths,v isu-goths,angles,saxons,celtic etc. These groups are do not necessarily have a cultural continuity, but these are supposed aryan tribes that came into europe through different routes at different times and who were constantly warring . For eg, the minoans and myceaneans are both indo-aryan tribes of greece. but there is no continuity, the mycaeneans came and replaced the minnoans . In other words,if we compare the first of europeans with the contemporary indians/south asians, the south-asians were more successful in spreading out their genes,having access t resources,increasing in number, and living a relatively peaceful,less war prone or competitive existence than the first of europeans – whose gene pool have been diluted in their own lands by other tribes entering their land and fighting with them.
Similarly within India, The south indian have not face much external aggression that the north indians faced ..be it lodis, or mughals, or greeks or scythians or any one else from the other side.
Bengalis – have been invaded and raped from Both magadhas and Cholas from the south. No maurya or mughal came down to TN and Kerala.
Even if you go by the aryan invasion – where you say many north indians are a combination of aryan(europeans- who themselves have lived miserably and war prone all the time) and dravidians, the dravidians living in the norther region alone suffered defeat and were subjugated by the aryans. Not like after defeating , they sent them in trains to south.I know you wud claim this to be the case and offer no logical expanation why the aryans didnt come down south as well.
So even according to your aryan invasion theory The ones in south did not suffer much, maybe only 2% brahmins came and promoted the religion. But brahmins were only cooks n priests, never a land owning first citizens like mudaliars or business men like chettiars(p.chidambaram ur chettiar example).
All of Indian suffered over the last 200 years..as you say northies suffered the most by fighting a lot. bengalis and punjabis have suffered a lot during the respective partitions and for the tamils who suffered in srilanka – 150 thousand casualities, around 900 thousand have settled in places like autralia, canada,swiss,france, uS, Uk, finland etc.Atleast those indentured labours worked and are now living comfrtably in malaysia..whereas There were so many famines in bengal duing briths raj and millions perished. The gujjus n punjus sent to africa also got kiked out by idi amin, and also suffered bad fate in fiji.
So considering all these, the south indians have lived well in any scenario, thats why were are not aggressive and pretty conservative. SO far we are the winners – considering 5000 years of living well.
In another 200 yeasr we will be mixed up and there aint gonna be any winners…cox no one would know what proportion of genes they have in them, atleast within India.
And for the next 200 years people from south india are poised to live a very industrial,comfortable life with the IT,automobile and medical tourism thing. And even if the delhi-mumbai corridor improves, more of us will get to go there and expand – because we are more Intelligent and our skills will help us with the expansion wherever there is opportunity. If you want to know how I have established that tamils are more intelligent read through the other posts of mine that deal with out past achievements and highlights how we are more intelligent and to get a complete picture on things. So get the confidence and be happy. the only thing we lack is the fun aspect in our culture – which is less neotenous and conservative compared to others. If south indians become more flirty or playul like lets say bengalis, because we are more intellectual, we will be more engaging and fun.
If you are a person that feels bad that southies dont have the look/fun factor, your offsprings are probably gonna feel the same. Thats why its important for us to expand to other cities and try to give a chance to our offsprings to be part of a fun circle.otherwise even they will continue to feel poor/hopeless in aspects of being fun and attractive. Unfortunately not many can just relocate to other places leaving behind their family,friends and job. But if they can get an easy/comfortable job, other things can follow like making new friends and finding other members of community and keep life interesting despite living out of Tamil nadu. So  capitalists/business owners all should set up funds and businesses oriented towards helping fellow community members expand to other places..this is just like how the gujarati/marwari communities do business, primarily helping out members of their own community. If you cant get into retail, if you are into I.T. you can very well set up offices and help people relocate and expand.But expanding is very important.I mean before calling me a sectarian, you should look at what the TATA sons is doing for parsi community and how marwaris or certain sections of muslims and other sects do their business.
So the only thing we have to do is plan to expand and  no matter how much life sucks for you rite now, know that its gonna work out fine in the future. becoz 1) we are intelligent , and intelligence will help us get the wealth or plan our existence well to get us where we need to be to become successful/resourceful/healthy and thereby attractive in the future. Plus intelligence in itself plays a role in being more stimulating and attractive. 2) Studies say that human societies tend/evolve to become more neotenous, and therefore all we have to do is just be liberal and we will also get to where northies are regarding the confidence,playfulness and fun factor. Just have to stop the hypocritical and idiotic attitude of people like in the video below

Rich in love , poor in love

‘Is everyone in chennai above the age of 16 married then?’ said one FB comment yesterday speaking of the Madras HC Judge equating pre-martial sex to marriage.
Really? all 16 year olds in chennai have had sex then(the implication there was that a very high percent ) ??these kinda moronic exaggerations give a wrong picture of the society and leaves the conservative majority wondering, whether their life is so pathetic that they dont seem to be getting the action themselves, are unaware the a lot of others are getting some action or that they are not even part of a circle where these things go on implying that they are at the bottom rung when it comes to these issues.
Do not go on with the supposed online survey of some condom companies who wan to project that there is more sex in this society to get the ball rolling for them. Mumbai’s International Institute for Population Sciences (IIPS), a public health institute conducted this survey to include 55,000 males and females from about1.7 lakh households in states of Bihar, Jharkhand, Maharashtra, Rajasthan, Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh, their ages ranging from 15 to 29
Statistical figures reveal that about 21 percent males(the kind like future lorry drivers) and 4 percent females from rural areas admitted to have had pre-marital sex against an urban figure of 11 percent males(including the ones going to those red-light areas) and 2 percent females. It only mentions sex, not if its penetrative or not.
Now to the question of is pre-marital sex and multiple partners good for the society and people overall?
http://pastors.com/premarital-sex-divorce-is-there-a-link/
I know the above link says pastoral and so its bound to be biased.but its only a literature review of other established reseachwork. And these studies indicate that in a society where ‘ do whatever one feels like’ attitude is present  people will have multiple partners before marriage,however are also bound to have more affairs and divorces after marriage.. One does not even need documented works for this……any common man can make an observation that western societies with a liberal attitude is prone to more divorces and change of partners compared to conservative societies like south asia. It is Intellectual abdication to assume that people are gonna turn angels after marriage and that a person who gets in and out of relationships many times will have the same emotional attachment towards his/her partners as someone who doesnt. Just  like how modern free thinkers reason out seeing no harm in having relationship with different people prior to marriage, people may reason out post-marriage too and claim that – they can be nice to their partners at home and they can be nice to other people when they are not with partners, as long as they can avoid cuckolding or things like physical/emotional unavailability. I mean people find pleasure in pushing norms and limits always…The liberal concepts of today will become conservative thinking of tomorrow and relationships will  evolve into something like friendships and the family (let alone nuclear family) system will totally break down sometime in the future if our reasoning tends to be on ‘do what one feels like’ and liberal side. I dont think many liberals would accept the above argument and most times they resort to name calling and side track the debates.
When people feel like they should be able to do whatever one pleases it gives them license to be more aggressive in their pursuit of mates. More often than not the aggressive(nice guys finish last, the bad guy always gets the girl) gets rewarded unless all members are super mature about judging things and determining whats right. And also this liberty and do what one pleases attitude, will often result in people pushing the line and seeking out new relationships breaking of relationships/marriage even after having kids. This is more of a return to animalistic way of things/ though the other term for it is being natural (and not suppressing any instincts). Now western countries have matured a great deal in this and they have better standards of living with less wealth/status divide. But back home i dont think a lot of people are mature enough for this and this will encourage a lot of aggressive, asshole-ish behaviour..which can already be seen amongst a lot of the youngsters in the country.
I think that the main reason extra-marital affairs or pre-marital sex is a problem in the minds of many people is as follows.If you refer my next blog, i wudve have explained how the main purpose of any life force is to make an impact on other things. Humans definitely feel motivated to acquire more power,riches, do good, make babies, do something because they constantly seek to make an impact on others and other things and thus preserve themselves through the impact they make…either through their offsprings or through a monument they built or by being the president or CEO or something. So more than cuckold or lack of emotional availability, we want our partners to be a clean slate/marble give to us for us to make our impact on. I mean you also make an impact on others as friends/parents etc, but an impact on someone as a soul mate/lover is something more deep. If someone else is also making designs in your slate/marble, or your slate already had designs when it was give to you, it is not the same i guess. I mean when we were in school we were given clean slates and note books, I wonder what would have happened if we had to compete for those note books – some people would have gotten more pages and get to make their design on a lot of the pages whereas some dont get any pages to make their designs with. Of course humans are not slates or marbles, but if you can understand that all of want to touch and make an impact on as many people as possible..you will get the analogy i suppose. This is also the basis for other conflicts like people getting pissed off about English overtaking and patronising foreign ideas. A human would speak an average of x amount of words in his life. If you are a tamil patroit, you would want that person to speak in tamil mostly and will get pissed off if the other guy is speaking mostly in english instead of tamil. So the same way, you want your partner to be thinking about you most of the time rather than a number of other people. I mean even if you know that your best friend had gone out with some other guy when you were out of station, there will be a slight element of jealousy and this is not just confined to your marital partners.
Having said this I am not a conservative guy and in fact i think that India/Chennai should be a more liberal society with prevalence of pre-marital sex. I believe that really mature people should be able to put themselves in each others shoes and find out whats gonna be the best thing to do..pre or post marriage. I mean, everyone gets tempted and if indeed they happen to seek a relation with someone else…you should have the mindset and maturity to be the best judge of the situation. You should be in a position to evaluate if that person will still be commited( a married partner has to be much more commited) to you and value your relationship at an adequate level or if indeed the person is someone who is not a very considerate person. So one has to confront the person incase of an affair and have to make this judgement. This ability to judge a person correctly comes from your past experiences and from how life teaches you to about people generally..and if you do not have this, you will probably not make the wrong decision when things dont go according to your plan. I also think open marriages can very well work, if both the partners involved are wise/mature enough to understand and judge each other and the situation well enough. You cant go to online forums or anything to find a rule book or an answer, but you have to analyse your own situation and and decide the best . The above is in regards to how to deal with problems in liberal societies, to the question of why we need liberal norms – the norm of the societies are there just to work out whats the  good for the society, and in this day and age i believe conservativeness causes more pain to people than liberal attitude..let me explain below.
The Dove-Hawk modeling can also be applied here.. Briefly, it implies hawks are more aggressive in pursuit of their self-interest and doves are not aggressive. And The dove population(read as society) can sustain itself within less confrontation within, whereas the hawk population has a lot of confrontations and swings like a sine wave within an ecosystem and is bound to go extinct and not survive if there are resource shortages or other influences within the eco system.
So the aggressive(do whatever one pleases without fully considering larger consequences) pursuit of self-interest is a more primitve/animalistic trait and a conservative nature is more evolved/human. No wonder many religions and human institutions preach conservativeness..and human evolved into being conservative from being aggressive and not the other way around. So conservativeness is not Stupidity/victorian/primitive thinking like those liberals call it to be. It is the contrary.
However, If within the same environment you bring Both the doves and hawks, The aggressive hawks have an advantage and will emerge the winners( game theoretically speaking..im not making this up).
In a way this is analogous to the capitalism vs communism. In liberal societies, not all males/females in a  society have equal potential when it comes to impressing people, and  the rich in love keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poor( your right i took this line from ‘enemy at the gates http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93tR96egox4‘  Jude law is the rich guy and the other is the poor one).  Although there is more Loving in the liberal societies, there are hug differences in the love that people get and there is a lot of jealousy and resentment that way. In a traditional/conservative society most people just get 1 partner and so not many are jealous of others and feel like they are terribly below the others.
So in closed societies , our culture/conservative values are good and it works. but in this day of Globalisation we are exposed and encounter other cultures. Despite their problems, when we see people having fun in other places(like watching Hollywood/bollywood or even travelling and living in their places or if we see them in our cities ) we are tempted and we think that even we should be able to have fun like them.
Just assuming thatIn a conservative society maybe there are 20% people getting laid and the rest are losers who wait till they get married. In a Liberal society there are 80% who are getting laid and 20% are losers. Which society would you rather be a loser in ??? If you are a failure, would you rather the majority also fails or would you be okay with the fact the you are one of the few who is a failure and therefore assured that you are a distinct bottom of the pile?
The natural tendency is to prefer be a loser where 80 % of the society is also a loser,where you think most others are just like you. other wise you just feel miserable to see everyone else having fun around you but not you.
But the other way one can look at is that, if 80 % are able to have sex, it really isnt that big of a deal. In a conservative society, those players and rich ones who get laid feel even more superior and elitist to the remaining 80%. And moreover, if you society/group of people/..for eg lets say Tamils are know to be conservative losers in the eyes of Others, thats also an issue. These are times of GLobalisation and we have to adjust our strategy accordingly… I’d rather 80% of tamils have a good healthy sex life than just 20%.
Q)But if conservativenss is a good/better system, arent we supposed to try to make it the system of the world and not adopt the bad system?
Well you can try to fight for what you think is good…but only if you are on top/well off/have the resources/ everybody else is looking towards you to lead in aspects of culture and stuff. Unfortunately its not us Tamils Now. West is the dominant economic and cultural power not and everyone else is ksiing upto them..It will be easy for them to promote their liberal views and it will be exponentially harder for us to strive for the propogation of Conservative attitude. Infact Indians,south india/TN is particular became even more/ultra conservative only because of the cultural influence of the ruling british and the propogation of ideas of Church during the victorian era(cxtianity and its cultural influence tied up with the dravidian movement had much higher success in the south than north) . Even until recent times, you can observe that in remote rural  there is a prevalence of relationship/pregnencies before marriage at a younger age of 15/16..of girls/people belonging to average backgrounds. Only the Urbanised and upper/ middle classes & among the christians do we find extreme conservative attitude in TN/South . So lets just change our stratgey and acquire a positive/fun/hot perception in the eyes of others. Who knows if people in TN start trying to be more playful and fun , we might also get cuter and more neotenous faces and heroines amongst us…cox your personality and behaviour shapes your thought/face and body chemistry over generations amounts to significant change in appearances.
Dating/getting into relationships and sex are kinda the biggest  things in the world. So if you havent done it and when you get to know that a lot of others have done that these, you feel like you have a serious lack of experience and knowledge pertaining to life.  You kinda feel like you are much below than someone who has gotten these experiences – if you measure yourself against othters based on what one has( wealth,looks,experiences,knowledge, interesting/good circle and life etc). However, just realise that a lot of things/luck come into play like where you are brougth up, your background, the kinda people you can connect to etc etc.  So you were just unlucky to not acquire these experiences, not always because that the others are inherently better than you or even smarter than you.
Just like Flirting/sex is a pleasure/positive experience input to your brain/yourself,
acquiring knowledge, unique things youve done/experienced, realisation that you are better than someone in some aspect,being rewarded ,being proud/happy about yourself, etc etc are all expereinces(positive or negative) as well that you have. People constantly and subconsciously size each other up and determine if someone is better than them , below them or almost at the same level(chankaya has also said something about this but dont wanna get into that). And they size each other up using the above factors,experiences.. For instance everything else being similar A guy who has knowledge highly intellectual stuff will feel much more confident/superior in front of another who doesnt.
But not all experience has the same weigthtage ..if someone says he has skied somehwere and that it was a great experience..it doesnt really make me jealous because it is not highly relevant or important to me. I might feel great about playing in the same table as barry greenstein in borgata.  But like I said before, the greatest,most important experience is in connecting with someone romantically/sexually and if you have had many such interesting and good experiences….you are living a very good life that an animal/human/organism can hope for. It takes much , much higher intelllectual accomplishment(like wining a nobel prize or being recognised as the number 1 intellectual of our times ) to beat the positive experience of someone like the casanova or such players..especially if you do not havent been able to impress anyone of a good caliber of attractiveness yourself..to feel like you are better than them. i think 1 out of may be a million times can a romantically challenged person feel confident/superior to a player with respect the the good life/positive experiences they have had.
The reason for Intelligence weighing lower than sexual attractivenss is this. Everything we do, we do with the aim of preserving ourselves..thats why we eat , thats why we reproduce. Theres a theory  in the scientific community that says that Human intelligence evolved Mainly because of the need to mate. So it is important for you to be intelligent/talented/rich etc etc only to be able to find mates (everyone can get good food easily). So knowing that you are fuckable reassures ur fitness level as a successful(able to pass on genes and survive)species more than knowing that you are intelligent or can climb the mount everest or whatever. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to touch/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in someway.  For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick.  It also doesnt mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are aslo important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.I mean I have dealt with why preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also  our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or dennis ritchie. So for the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat.
Good thing is many people can have many sexual experiences , but not many people can be nobel laureates and hence intelligence makes you more unique. I mean it doesnt require as much skill/potential to be sexually attractive person as comapred to being a Scientist or a Champion athlete..But still because of the relevence to lifes objective, it is more important to be fuckable than Intelligent and experiences pertaining to sex ar more important than experiences pertaining to other achievements.  Unfortunately for us, most south indians, chennaiites are in the romantically challenged category and we burn with jealousy upon seeing fun having whites/ north indians. I mean north indians are the hottest and since they are also liberal consequently become the most fun people on the planet. South indians are so close to them yet so far away from them in the aspect of fun. To explore further on the differences , read my other blogs.
I had already talked about(in other blogs) why being fuckable is more important than being Intelligent and why experiences pertaining to sex are more important than experiences pertaining to intellectual and other kinda achievements. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to touch/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in someway.  For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick.I mean i realise that its not all about dating and I have dealt with why mating and preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also  our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or an inventor. I mean inventors know at the time of their invention what an impact thats gonna make..irrespective of he is acknowledged or become popular or rich for it. Thats the underlying motivation behind open source.
Greatness Vs Fitness
I dont mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are also important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.People who understand for eg..the theory of everything in science, will feel superior to many people they come across ..wrt intelligence and because intelligence is a greater skill with which you can influence people an intellectual feat is better than a physical feat.However knowledge of physics is not going to be a greater skill in influencing people compared to swag. So when a physics nerd compares himself with a cool guy in circumstances pertaining to non-dating things, he will feel like he is better, but considering everything, in real life the person with swag will feel like he is bettering morelife points / survival points)(at have unless the physics guy has also had some experience scoring hot chicks. That is ,the cool guy is more Fitter to propogate his genes and traits  and make an impact, whereas the physics guy(not an inventor)  has greater inherent potential. I mean I dont have to establish why physics s a greater logical/intellectual area than dating know-how or even social sciences. Its because 1) The logic in physics is very deep and a greater breadth of concepts that goes into defining a lot of other concepts 2) physical sciences is the area that makes human make sense of most inputs they get.
And also, There might have been only a few people who have climed Mt.everest, but they still rank lower in Inherent potential than the thousands of physics grad who are able to comprehend the Theory of everything. This is because Intellect is a greater virtue than strength or athleticism in this world/human society, as one can achieve more with intelligence than with strength, and the level or intellectual variation between people is far greater than the level of physical variation amongst people.
the question now is, who should feel superior when they size each other up, the fitter or the greater?
Value = Integral[ (Skill/Potential) *  Gradient of Survival agenda ]
The higher skill/potential guy should feel superior, but the fitter guy will be the happier of the two as he is bound to have more positive moments in life and also. For the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat wrt as the romantic achievements fetch more Value by means of the gradient . And unless you are unaverage -like a physics genius who has thought about really very deep concepts that not many could get that easily, the intellectual achievement/potential of the average person is not that much of a high achievement/Value that no one else can accomplish. In other words, if you are the head of an I.T company like narayanmurthy, the inherent potential of a politician or a suave artist is better as the intellectual potential of narayana murthy is not really too high to make up for the inherent potential that the artist has, as the actor’s potential is multiplied by a higher gradient of appropriateness to scoring life points.

So chennai, change you conservative/mature behaviour or you will continue to feel miserable in this globalised world

Been there, done that

Who would you rather be in the car, Ranbir or the chauffeur?
Ranbir..the guy riding back seat,the better looking one of the two, and Rates higher among the 2 in overall potential to attract women. He doesnt have enough clicks because he didnt use axe
The chauffeur..the guy who rates low overall among the two.but has got more clicks because of using axe.
Lets assume that the clicks pertain to half their ‘in the game’ period and still have another half ahead of them.
If you are ranbir, the moment you enter the car, you feel like you are the better man amongst the 2..money,status,looks,(also assume knowledge / intelligence) inherent potential to be successful in the dating game and other things in life wise.
But when you find out that the other guy has had much more positive experiences(clicks in this case)…how does this change things about who is the better man? the happier man?
[since im a guy this example is from the guys perspective, but the same scenario of is also applicable for women]
Our objective is to live a good life (whatever you describe as good – fun,pleasurable,happier,noble etc etc) and more positive experience moments in our life.
Experiences can be anything like
indulging in physical pleasures like eating chocolates or having a nice swim etc,
emotionally and intellectually connecting with people, sharing jokes, discussing current affairs , blogging/vlogging and discussion in them,
Or moments of epiphany,soul searching..if you are a researcher or a philosopher or a social / political scientist,
or moments of positivity/negativity where you win or lose something while gambling an interview, or you realise that you have worked out a better strategy than your competitors .
A kid that has had chocolates more time another kid has had a better childhood than the other.
Thus an individual who has had more positive moments has had a better life than some one who doesnt.
So someone who might have born rich and does not have a significant increase in his fortune thereafter, might have not had so many positive experiences as compared to some one who had been able to accumulate even a fraction of that wealth by winning/getting paid.
I mean he can make use of the money to get other positive experiences, but Wealth wise, the later guy has had more positive experiences.
When there is a comparison between the 2 regarding wealth, The richer guy will feel superior in this aspect an momentarily make the other guy feel jealous, but from career wise, the later guy has had a better professional growth..And this scenario can be extended to all areas of life.
Although ranbir kapoor is inherently better than the other guy in matters of mating9with his looks, status etc), the other guy has had a better romantic life with more positive experiences.
But the main point here is, despite his positive experiences, when he meets ranbir kapoor he will still feel less gifted to ranbir. Generally when someone is able to accumulate a lot of positivity, we tend to think that the person is automatically more talented and has more potential. But not all winners are intelligent/talented and not all talented/intelligent people have had success in their lives. So by looking at the click count, the chauffeur might think that he is inherently better than ranbir, but after carefully assessing all factors they both might come to the realisation that ranbir is inherently better.
Well, does experiences not matter then when it comes to evaluating an individuals inherent potential?
Answer(acc too me): Only those experience through which one gains and accumulates an attribute that contribute to ones inherent potential ..like some sort of knowledge or intellectual or emotional connection, or even physical qualities, or even making money matters.  I mean the more such kinda experiences you have,,at the end of the day you are richer, physically better or  Intellectually/knowledge wise you have more, and these things help you get more positive moments in the future. Experiences  give you nice memories ,which gives you pleasure in the future when you think about it. I can say for sure,human connections thus carry more of a memory component rather than a swim in the ocean or eating a nice meal. Even someone who has had bad experience in the past..has experienced something that he knows uniquely and hence adds to his inherent knowledge/potential
eating chocolates are just momentary postive expereinces..You are not accumulating anything because of these experiences( however, if you have tasted something that is very unique that not many have had the pleasure of, then that adds to your unique -ness..something extra that you have experienced compared to the others).
I mean you can feel proud of and gain a lot(knowledge or ideas wise) from experiences such as exchanging mails with Noam chomsky or even when you talk/intellectually connect with someone from a totally different culture/place(and even remebering these moments give u pleasure/confidence in the future), but by eating the same chocolate for the 100th time you have accumulated nothing.
The Clicks in the axe ad,although are positive moments, are just re-assurances of this guys attractiveness(which ranbir is better by measuring the inherent factors) and this is just because the guy has been in the right place at the right time. Had these clicks been an relationship or an affair with more of a intellectual connection..those could be categorised as accumulative experiences. But if were just assurances of this guys attractiveness..it doesnt count as something that he has with respect to inherent attributes.
I mean you can keep on feeling superior by going to very impoverished areas and comparing your life with theirs( I guess thats why many foreign nationals like to do a trip of the impoverished areas in india..to feel better about themselves, and feel so high and mighty by doing a tiny bit of charity work and yap about consolidarity).
But these comparitive moments, re-assurances  and physical aspects of pleasure so not add up to your potential.When you consume food…your digestive system has evolved such that whatever is good for your body also tastes good(not all the time but mostly). like fire is bad for your skin so you feel pain. And certain chemicals are harmful you feel pungent smells/taste towards undesirable chemicals. So positive food consuming experiences shuld also help you get a good physique. With respect to sex(not just the physical pleasure aspect of it)..sex is about connecting with someone and that counts as a full fledged experience that has both physical and intellectual components to it. Even experiences pertaining to accumulating wealth has an intellectual component associated with it(people in the Industry/ business verticals call it Experience..or knowledge accumulated from experience rather).
So when one compares with another to find out who the better individual is, the Intellectual/physical attributes gained and accumulated from experiences is what matters and not the experience itself. Some experiences add on to your inherent attributes and some dont.
There is a fine line in distinguishing experiences that pertain to human connections. The clicks in the Ad, are they just re-assurances???whereas things like short-term/long term relationships and intellectually connecting with people(be it of your status..like the cool people/hipster crowd of a city, or connecting with fellow bloggers/intellectuals) have an accumulating intellectual/emotional component to it beyond re-assurances??
or do even the clicks have a minor component of intellectual connection just like a short term relationship and contributes to social skills/knowledge/memory(like how to appear smart or watever)?  if it does, it increase potential of the driver high compared to ranbir, as this guy has accumulated more of  expereinces/know how pertaining to human connections/social skills. But I would conclude that the driver has had more positive moments in life , whereas Ranbir has more inherent potential
EXPERIENCES: So every moment of your life/experience has 2 components to it 1)the feeling(positive/negative, pain/pleasure) and 2) a value add component – by which you get something out of it and gets added to and makes your personality/inherent potential. Actually the first  component also has a sub-component apart from the feeling , which is making your impact on things the same way they receive/gain something from the experiences. Some experience are high in some of the component and some are low.  Our objective is to have a good life..lot of positive feeling moments/moments of making your impact on other things. Actually the sole purpose of a life force is to survive and make an impact to the extent it can(refer second last para in this article). Although in many occassions, pleasure/positive feeling is associated with something that contributes to your survival and making impact – like eating good food,or dating a hot partner or being in a popular/ leadership position to impact a lot of people or important people,, pleasure always doesnt mean you have done impactful things or things learnt. For example if ur a drug addict or food addict to a point that you just eat and find pleasure but havent really positively contributed to you or impacted anyone or anything – in those cases the pleasure is not proportional to your impact on things and your ultimate purpose. However, most just try to anticipate and maximise the pleasurable moments in our life and the ones who truly understand things will try to maximise the impact they make in life. Apart from trying to maximise momentary pleasure, we should also aim to get the experiences that make us inherently better by virtue of which we can hope to have many positive moments in the future and thus make more of an impact. i mean it is not possible to figure out if every single pleasurable act for us leads to something impactful, so we just try to maximise our pleasurable moments in the best way. Not all pleasurable moments are impactful moments but all impactful moments are definitely a positive thing considering your lifes purpose..even though it might be painful. I mean this is why men have been driven to fight wars even though they know that it could kill them, they subconsciously know that there is an impact made.
I had already talked about(in other blogs) why being fuckable is more important than being Intelligent and why experiences pertaining to sex are more important than experiences pertaining to intellectual and other kinda achievements. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to impact/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in some way.  For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence/have influenced people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick.I mean i realise that its not all about dating and I have dealt with why mating and preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also  our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or an inventor. I mean inventors know at the time of their invention what an impact thats gonna make..irrespective of he is acknowledged or become popular or rich for it. Thats the underlying motivation behind open source.
Inherent Potential : Greatness Vs Fitness
I dont mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are also important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.People who understand for eg..the theory of everything in science, will feel superior to many people they come across – wrt intelligence and because intelligence is a greater skill with which you can influence people an intellectual feat is better than a physical feat.Also the effort and potential required to achieve Intelligence is higher than physical strength generally speaking in animal kingdom. However knowledge of physics is not going to be a greater skill in influencing people compared to swag. So when a physics nerd compares himself with a cool guy in circumstances pertaining to non-dating things, he will feel like he is better, but considering everything, in real life the person with swag will feel like he is bettering more life points / survival points)( unless the physics guy has also had some experience scoring hot chicks. That is ,the cool guy is more Fitter to propogate his genes and traits  and make an impact, whereas the physics guy(not an inventor)  has greater inherent potential. I mean I dont have to establish why physics s a greater logical/intellectual area than dating know-how or even social sciences. Its because 1) The logic in physics is very deep and a greater breadth of concepts that goes into defining a lot of other concepts 2) physical sciences is the area that makes human make sense of most inputs they get and gives them the power to influence most things around them they need.
And also, There might have been only a few people who have climed Mt.everest, but they still rank lower in Inherent potential than the thousands of physics grad who are able to comprehend the Theory of everything. This is because Intellect is a greater virtue than strength or athleticism in this world/human society, as one can achieve more with intelligence than with strength, and the level or intellectual variation between people is far greater than the level of physical variation amongst people. And like i said before,intellectual feat is better than a physical feat considerign the effort and potential required to achieve it
the question now is, who should feel superior when they size each other up, the fitter or the greater?
Value of a person = Integral over time and all components(looks,intellect,power etc)[ (Skill level/Potential) in that particular component *  Gradient of Survival agenda(factor deciding number of positive life points/moments) of that particular component]
The higher skill/potential guy should feel superior, but the fitter guy will be the happier of the two as he is bound to have more positive moments in life and also. For the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat wrt as the romantic achievements fetch more Value by means of the gradient . And unless you are unaverage -like a physics genius who has thought about really very deep concepts that not many could get that easily, the intellectual achievement/potential of the average person is not that much of a high achievement/Value that no one else can accomplish. In other words, if you are the head of an I.T company like narayanmurthy, the value of a politician or a suave artist is better as the value of narayana murthy is not really too high to make up for the valuel that the artist has, as the actor’s potential is multiplied by a higher gradient of appropriateness to influencing other people and scoring life points.
So an intellectual reasonably high achiever with no romantic connection has lesser(expereince/knowledge) value, compared to a person whose had the girlfriend/bf . A person whose had romantic relationships with many people/many different kinds of people/interesting and hip people  has more, than a person whose had romantic relationship just one or few or people who are the same or people who are not so hip…despite experiencing more positive moments romantically by having sex more number of times but with just the same partner.
But a person who has had romantic relationships, and has achieved high may be better than someone who is a casanova but hasnt really achieved anything else intellectually/ skill wise or other kinds of experience wise.
So to rephrase the above equation and its implication..when a person with past romantic relationships and swag compare himself with A person with lot of knowledge and less experiences and relationships, they compare themselves in 2 ways 1) Higher skill level / potential 2) Fitness(considering the positive moments gradient).
Regarding the positive moments – it has past and future components
1) Number of positive moments in the past(been there,done that)…the swag wins(becoz of the gradient factor and the number of times we compare each other based on, is higher for fun/relationships rather than intellectual)..but this does not affect their comparing each other to see who is gonna do well in future..although like i mentioned past experiences give one some good memories and know hows for future.
2) Number of positive moments in the future(which determines who is better/well equiped for the future when the compare themselves) ..it depends on a careful analysis of whats required to get positive moment in the future…I mean lets say there is a group with swag/good looks and another with intelligence. The intelligent group can acquire wealth/power and thus consume healthy and become more good-lookin confident and get swag in the future( i mean for their offspring if we talk about really long term, or professionally if we talk about comparing high school youngsters and extrapolating their professional life and stuff). The same way the Currently good-looking swag group can also try to get smart and wise, and their good looks wont disappear but it will get transmitted in their genes as well for some generations.  The question is which is harder to get..good looks or intelligence and which is gonna get you more peace of mind or happiness or positive moments in the future. I mean if the intelligent continue to be intellgent and good looking continue to be good looking, even the future would favour the good looking, ideally speaking..but things can change.
Another factor for comparitive positive moments  is, are people gonna compare each other based on intelligence or looks?. I mean in a company its gonna be wit and in a club its gonna be looks. Although its not difficult to say people compare themselves more from a look/fun perspective than a wit perspective.This situation also determines which trait is gonna give them more positive moments.But this is just a sub-factor of the above criteria just like the fitness gradient to the positive moments, this is just the number of positive moments.
The person who is gonna have more positive moments overall — past + projected future is the better person in all circumstances
The important thing to realise is that ones past experiences thus doesnt stop with that individual but also includes his ancestors and associated group members and so does the future also extends to a person’s group and future offsprings. The projected positive moments of future thus depends on the ability to pass on a potential to the offsprings or related group. Genetic traits of look do pass on, but intelligence I guess depnds on nature(genetics) as well as nurture to a higher percent(refer articles related to classifying Intelligence).
So above is the first criteria of comparison..regarding who is gonna have more positive experiences. The second is simply who is better at skills. Its something like this….The potential of scoring chicks is a potential which may be 80 points (according to the difficulty in achieveng the looks,sophistication – all the physical and intellectual components behind it) that is if you were brad pitt. whereas the skill to be a reknowned String theorist or a public intellectual has 100 points, becoming the president has 90 points and so on. But the life points/positive moments gradient of scoring chicks is pretty high…lets say 60 , and the gradient points for being a physicist is low like say 40 . And climbing the everest..may be it has a difficulty level of 70, but its gradient point is low such as just 10.  The application of brain muscle is a lot harder and has more points than applying the physical muscle. Although a physicist has put a lot of effort in understanding high concepts in physics, a politician must have put a lot of intellectual effort in becoming popular and a president as well.
So to give a points estimate to each of the component wrt  Skill/Inherent potential(considering the genetic factor behind looks/intelligence) // Gradient for influencing people and having positive life moments – (not actual positive ife moments theyve had)
looks/Swag/ Class = 80// 60  (brad pitt). reg 60 I have mentioned why impressing girls/having a class or background, carry a lot of life points. And not all can be good looking.Swag actually means a combination of physical looks and a know how on being cool – in total giving it 80 points on a hypothetical scale used here. this translates as an effort of 80 points in the direction of looks will get you a score of 60 wrt positive life moments one can expect in the future.
Intelligence = 100 //40 (a quality physicist/public intellectual ).  reg 40 ..people who know they are intelligent also feel good about it from time to time and intelligence helps when you are dealing with people and Intelligence also plays a role in being engaging and attractive. To understand the advanced Physics and being able to comprehend the highest of logics, it requires a lot of brain effort. The intellectual effort to become a theoretical physicist or reasonable calibre thus requires more effort than the effort(intellectual and physical) needed to become swag,sophisticated and also including the genetically carried component for the effort your ancestors might have put in their time(even intelligence has a genetic component)
A record holding athlete/mountaineer = 70/30  .30 is associated with the benefits of athleticism and the temporary fame and benefits a star athlete might get. 70 coz I guess its not an easy thing to become an olympic medalist or a mountaineer who on occasions might have risked his life.
The president  = 90 //100 ….100 coz the millions of lives he gets to touch in small gradients.
So the theoretical physicist should feel superior to the player(and momentarily feel superior), but understand that the player is gonna have more positive moments overall.Of course the whole equation has to be integrated over time, considering the actual positive moments theyve had in the past and projected ones for future based on skill.And people have different scores for different components as well. Iron man has high scores in all components i guess. The scores regarding the difficulty to achieve a skill and the impact a particular skill can have  were just what i felt like — I guess it can be further analysed, explained and altercated – like explaining how Intellectual skill is more difficult to attain than physical strength and why it will be more influential, and the different orientation of Intellect (like science or wit or dating know how or style) or physical strenght and how each of them score wrt attainability and influencing positive moments.
If you have connected/discussed with noam chomsky/einstein a deep concept you thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). If youve impressed/connected and had sex with a hot and classy chick thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). Even without not getting to discuss with prominent physicist or intellectuals, you can sometimes know that you have the intellectual capability. But without ever having had sex or only getting to have sex lesser times with not so hot people, can you claim to be a swag guy???  this is where the above axe ad situation and the reasoning above can be used. the answer is yes. Ranbir has more swag and potential to attract women despite not having many clicks. You can be a swag guy stuck  in a prison somewhere and its only your bad luck and circumstances such as you conservative background that you lack the experience.
So now think of the girl/guy of your dreams. Why do we feel good about it if we all get our girl/guy of our dream? and why do we generally want them to be good looking/fun/wealthy/good/et etc ..the qualities we expect?
When we get the person of our dreams and experience being with them, you basically make an impact on them. When a single celled amoeba consumes a piece of organic material around, and gets bigger in size and then reproduces/splits into two – the end result of the whole process a piece of organic thing being converted into the form of an amoeba. So the life force present in the original amoeba, has impacted surrounding matter. So thats the only objective behind every life/matter and the force that makes them..to make an impact someway on the medium around(it wud be a good thing to refer to my ‘The medium’ post). The only bad thing for a force is not make its impact on anything…or do something that ultimately leads to ceasing of its existence as an organism/ unit and its impact on anything . When organic/living things turn to dust,the stationary forces within the matter of dust doesnt get to make a lot of impact on surrounding objects, only living things do in comparison. Thus the existence of force as an alive organism is better than being trapped in a dead/lifeless object – i mean you gotta imagine this from the level of a basic force not from the point of an advanced being.
So coming back to having your hot partner, you have both made an impact as well as received impacts from them and shaped each other. Thats why its good. All those people at the top – rich,powerful,hot are all the ones that are making more of an impact in this world. people with power,money,creativity,kindness ..whether you can accept and imagine it or not will be able to make more of an impact.The same goes to hot people. Coz hot people somehow also tend to get to preferred and get to the top and influence the other impactful people. Maybe you can appreciate someone who can feed a 100 poor for a day or a month, but the CEO of a large corp defintley makes a bigger impact in this world overall. And thats why you are trying to maximise your impact by trying to being with those at the top and impacting them and being impacted by them.With a hot partner , you think you can have a hot kid – your creation who will be more impactful. So I guess now you’ll be able to understand the totality of wanting to be with hot/successful/impactful people.
In conclusion there are 3 ways to compare yourself with others
1) pure inherent potential level - by which a star athlete can even be on the higher side coz he has put in a lot of effort to acquire a some skill. But intelligence tends to have the highest points for of skill/potential – as mentioned in the scales above
2a) Experienced positive moments - It is the actual positive moments one experiences. generally guys with the swag factor tend to have more positive moments in life.
2b) Future positive moments (projected through your fitness for Life) - This takes into combination the skill level/inherent potential multiplied by a factor of fitness gradient. Chances are a really intelligent guy can score high on the fitness scales compared to a guy with swag. the more the fitness level – more forecasted future positive moments.
3) Actual Impact made : the impact made by the life force that makes up your cells, on the other living/non-living things in this world and shapes future events and things. This is the ultimate purpose of the life force within you . I mean the higher scores in 2a, probably higher here as well but not always the case like explained above. even an average guy can get to save the lives of a lot of people and be impactful and a hero/villain in this world.
I hope the above criteria will give you some clarity on sizing up yourself against people you meet and determining who is better or to find solutions to your dating/relationship anxieties. The one with the better life is not the one who has more talent or pleasure,which are just proxies, but the one whose made the most impact on people and things. So when you r in a mall or a public place and you see others with hotter girlfriends or act like they are classier or sophisticated, just think that they are fortunate in the looks aspect(which is a more important trait for survival ) and score high in aspect 2( pleasurable moments in life) whereas you – if you happen to be intelligent-a higher trait have more points in aspect 1(pure inherent potential).
Now the human/animal brain is not perfect..We are supposed to feel pleasure for the things that increases our survival and objective and feel pain for things that decreases our objective. However, take the case of drug addicts or people who eat too much food..or just the act of jacking off, people feel pleasure doing these but it does not necessarily mean that they have made a big impact or positively contributed to their objective through that particular act. The same pleasure is felt by someone who actually impregnates a partner and makes a big impact that way, compared to someone who is just doing it wearing a condom or just wacking off to porno.  So more pleasurable existence doesnt mean a more impactful existence. Although good looking people, or rather people higher in component 2 will make heads turn and have more chance of influencing people, really intelligent people have a chance of affecting a lot of people/lives in a big way by means of inventing something or becoming a leader/ public intellectual etc – and thus people with higher score in component 1 has a higher chance of making a really big impact on the world. In order to make an impact , it doesnt mean one has to mingle and keep socialising all the time with all the people. People also are selective in choosing their friends and circle coz they dont wanna waste their effort on someone who is easily impressed – coz with those people the impact you made on them will be short lived. Or if some one was to hang out with dumb or classless people, what they are and their confidence level decreases and has a negative impact on themselves. So people do exercise discretion, but sub-consciously its all about maximising your objective function – which is to make an impact.