Been there, done that

Who would you rather be in the car, Ranbir or the chauffeur?
Ranbir..the guy riding back seat,the better looking one of the two, and Rates higher among the 2 in overall potential to attract women. He doesnt have enough clicks because he didnt use axe
The chauffeur..the guy who rates low overall among the two.but has got more clicks because of using axe.
Lets assume that the clicks pertain to half their ‘in the game’ period and still have another half ahead of them.
If you are ranbir, the moment you enter the car, you feel like you are the better man amongst the 2..money,status,looks,(also assume knowledge / intelligence) inherent potential to be successful in the dating game and other things in life wise.
But when you find out that the other guy has had much more positive experiences(clicks in this case)…how does this change things about who is the better man? the happier man?
[since im a guy this example is from the guys perspective, but the same scenario of is also applicable for women]
Our objective is to live a good life (whatever you describe as good – fun,pleasurable,happier,noble etc etc) and more positive experience moments in our life.
Experiences can be anything like
indulging in physical pleasures like eating chocolates or having a nice swim etc,
emotionally and intellectually connecting with people, sharing jokes, discussing current affairs , blogging/vlogging and discussion in them,
Or moments of epiphany,soul searching..if you are a researcher or a philosopher or a social / political scientist,
or moments of positivity/negativity where you win or lose something while gambling an interview, or you realise that you have worked out a better strategy than your competitors .
A kid that has had chocolates more time another kid has had a better childhood than the other.
Thus an individual who has had more positive moments has had a better life than some one who doesnt.
So someone who might have born rich and does not have a significant increase in his fortune thereafter, might have not had so many positive experiences as compared to some one who had been able to accumulate even a fraction of that wealth by winning/getting paid.
I mean he can make use of the money to get other positive experiences, but Wealth wise, the later guy has had more positive experiences.
When there is a comparison between the 2 regarding wealth, The richer guy will feel superior in this aspect an momentarily make the other guy feel jealous, but from career wise, the later guy has had a better professional growth..And this scenario can be extended to all areas of life.
Although ranbir kapoor is inherently better than the other guy in matters of mating9with his looks, status etc), the other guy has had a better romantic life with more positive experiences.
But the main point here is, despite his positive experiences, when he meets ranbir kapoor he will still feel less gifted to ranbir. Generally when someone is able to accumulate a lot of positivity, we tend to think that the person is automatically more talented and has more potential. But not all winners are intelligent/talented and not all talented/intelligent people have had success in their lives. So by looking at the click count, the chauffeur might think that he is inherently better than ranbir, but after carefully assessing all factors they both might come to the realisation that ranbir is inherently better.
Well, does experiences not matter then when it comes to evaluating an individuals inherent potential?
Answer(acc too me): Only those experience through which one gains and accumulates an attribute that contribute to ones inherent potential ..like some sort of knowledge or intellectual or emotional connection, or even physical qualities, or even making money matters.  I mean the more such kinda experiences you have,,at the end of the day you are richer, physically better or  Intellectually/knowledge wise you have more, and these things help you get more positive moments in the future. Experiences  give you nice memories ,which gives you pleasure in the future when you think about it. I can say for sure,human connections thus carry more of a memory component rather than a swim in the ocean or eating a nice meal. Even someone who has had bad experience in the past..has experienced something that he knows uniquely and hence adds to his inherent knowledge/potential
eating chocolates are just momentary postive expereinces..You are not accumulating anything because of these experiences( however, if you have tasted something that is very unique that not many have had the pleasure of, then that adds to your unique -ness..something extra that you have experienced compared to the others).
I mean you can feel proud of and gain a lot(knowledge or ideas wise) from experiences such as exchanging mails with Noam chomsky or even when you talk/intellectually connect with someone from a totally different culture/place(and even remebering these moments give u pleasure/confidence in the future), but by eating the same chocolate for the 100th time you have accumulated nothing.
The Clicks in the axe ad,although are positive moments, are just re-assurances of this guys attractiveness(which ranbir is better by measuring the inherent factors) and this is just because the guy has been in the right place at the right time. Had these clicks been an relationship or an affair with more of a intellectual connection..those could be categorised as accumulative experiences. But if were just assurances of this guys attractiveness..it doesnt count as something that he has with respect to inherent attributes.
I mean you can keep on feeling superior by going to very impoverished areas and comparing your life with theirs( I guess thats why many foreign nationals like to do a trip of the impoverished areas in india..to feel better about themselves, and feel so high and mighty by doing a tiny bit of charity work and yap about consolidarity).
But these comparitive moments, re-assurances  and physical aspects of pleasure so not add up to your potential.When you consume food…your digestive system has evolved such that whatever is good for your body also tastes good(not all the time but mostly). like fire is bad for your skin so you feel pain. And certain chemicals are harmful you feel pungent smells/taste towards undesirable chemicals. So positive food consuming experiences shuld also help you get a good physique. With respect to sex(not just the physical pleasure aspect of it)..sex is about connecting with someone and that counts as a full fledged experience that has both physical and intellectual components to it. Even experiences pertaining to accumulating wealth has an intellectual component associated with it(people in the Industry/ business verticals call it Experience..or knowledge accumulated from experience rather).
So when one compares with another to find out who the better individual is, the Intellectual/physical attributes gained and accumulated from experiences is what matters and not the experience itself. Some experiences add on to your inherent attributes and some dont.
There is a fine line in distinguishing experiences that pertain to human connections. The clicks in the Ad, are they just re-assurances???whereas things like short-term/long term relationships and intellectually connecting with people(be it of your status..like the cool people/hipster crowd of a city, or connecting with fellow bloggers/intellectuals) have an accumulating intellectual/emotional component to it beyond re-assurances??
or do even the clicks have a minor component of intellectual connection just like a short term relationship and contributes to social skills/knowledge/memory(like how to appear smart or watever)?  if it does, it increase potential of the driver high compared to ranbir, as this guy has accumulated more of  expereinces/know how pertaining to human connections/social skills. But I would conclude that the driver has had more positive moments in life , whereas Ranbir has more inherent potential
EXPERIENCES: So every moment of your life/experience has 2 components to it 1)the feeling(positive/negative, pain/pleasure) and 2) a value add component – by which you get something out of it and gets added to and makes your personality/inherent potential. Actually the first  component also has a sub-component apart from the feeling , which is making your impact on things the same way they receive/gain something from the experiences. Some experience are high in some of the component and some are low.  Our objective is to have a good life..lot of positive feeling moments/moments of making your impact on other things. Actually the sole purpose of a life force is to survive and make an impact to the extent it can(refer second last para in this article). Although in many occassions, pleasure/positive feeling is associated with something that contributes to your survival and making impact – like eating good food,or dating a hot partner or being in a popular/ leadership position to impact a lot of people or important people,, pleasure always doesnt mean you have done impactful things or things learnt. For example if ur a drug addict or food addict to a point that you just eat and find pleasure but havent really positively contributed to you or impacted anyone or anything – in those cases the pleasure is not proportional to your impact on things and your ultimate purpose. However, most just try to anticipate and maximise the pleasurable moments in our life and the ones who truly understand things will try to maximise the impact they make in life. Apart from trying to maximise momentary pleasure, we should also aim to get the experiences that make us inherently better by virtue of which we can hope to have many positive moments in the future and thus make more of an impact. i mean it is not possible to figure out if every single pleasurable act for us leads to something impactful, so we just try to maximise our pleasurable moments in the best way. Not all pleasurable moments are impactful moments but all impactful moments are definitely a positive thing considering your lifes purpose..even though it might be painful. I mean this is why men have been driven to fight wars even though they know that it could kill them, they subconsciously know that there is an impact made.
I had already talked about(in other blogs) why being fuckable is more important than being Intelligent and why experiences pertaining to sex are more important than experiences pertaining to intellectual and other kinda achievements. say for eg a feat like climbing mt everest…its a hard one and not everyone can do it. But that doesnt make you better than many others becoz you dont really get to impact/influence other lives and get something out of it – to eventually make yours better and contribute to your agenda for survival in some way.  For example if you are able to impress a hot girls, it means you have the skills to influence/have influenced people to serve your agenda of procreating with healthy,good looking children. If you are the president, you have influence over many people, but that influence is not gonna have a high gradient of direct consequences towards your personal survival. I mean being a president/PM is still much greater accomplishment becoz although you touch lives with a smaller gradient, you are touching millions of lives so it multiplies and thats a greater accomplishment than scoring just a hot chick.I mean i realise that its not all about dating and I have dealt with why mating and preservation of genes is not the only form of survival/propogation/passing on, but also the impact we make on others is also  our mark on this world..for eg..if you create the language C which influences so many people and as long as that influence is felt significantly, a part of you survives. But not everyone gets to influence so many lives unless they are presidents or an inventor. I mean inventors know at the time of their invention what an impact thats gonna make..irrespective of he is acknowledged or become popular or rich for it. Thats the underlying motivation behind open source.
Inherent Potential : Greatness Vs Fitness
I dont mean that intellectual feats such as understanding advanced concepts are useless as it has nothing to do with scoring chicks. These are also important, coz when you compare yourselves against others based on just intelligence, people well versed with the ultimate thought area-physics & existentialism occupy a higher level than those who can talk about rock music or something.People who understand for eg..the theory of everything in science, will feel superior to many people they come across – wrt intelligence and because intelligence is a greater skill with which you can influence people an intellectual feat is better than a physical feat.Also the effort and potential required to achieve Intelligence is higher than physical strength generally speaking in animal kingdom. However knowledge of physics is not going to be a greater skill in influencing people compared to swag. So when a physics nerd compares himself with a cool guy in circumstances pertaining to non-dating things, he will feel like he is better, but considering everything, in real life the person with swag will feel like he is bettering more life points / survival points)( unless the physics guy has also had some experience scoring hot chicks. That is ,the cool guy is more Fitter to propogate his genes and traits  and make an impact, whereas the physics guy(not an inventor)  has greater inherent potential. I mean I dont have to establish why physics s a greater logical/intellectual area than dating know-how or even social sciences. Its because 1) The logic in physics is very deep and a greater breadth of concepts that goes into defining a lot of other concepts 2) physical sciences is the area that makes human make sense of most inputs they get and gives them the power to influence most things around them they need.
And also, There might have been only a few people who have climed Mt.everest, but they still rank lower in Inherent potential than the thousands of physics grad who are able to comprehend the Theory of everything. This is because Intellect is a greater virtue than strength or athleticism in this world/human society, as one can achieve more with intelligence than with strength, and the level or intellectual variation between people is far greater than the level of physical variation amongst people. And like i said before,intellectual feat is better than a physical feat considerign the effort and potential required to achieve it
the question now is, who should feel superior when they size each other up, the fitter or the greater?
Value of a person = Integral over time and all components(looks,intellect,power etc)[ (Skill level/Potential) in that particular component *  Gradient of Survival agenda(factor deciding number of positive life points/moments) of that particular component]
The higher skill/potential guy should feel superior, but the fitter guy will be the happier of the two as he is bound to have more positive moments in life and also. For the average guy, romantic feat is greater than an average intellectual feat wrt as the romantic achievements fetch more Value by means of the gradient . And unless you are unaverage -like a physics genius who has thought about really very deep concepts that not many could get that easily, the intellectual achievement/potential of the average person is not that much of a high achievement/Value that no one else can accomplish. In other words, if you are the head of an I.T company like narayanmurthy, the value of a politician or a suave artist is better as the value of narayana murthy is not really too high to make up for the valuel that the artist has, as the actor’s potential is multiplied by a higher gradient of appropriateness to influencing other people and scoring life points.
So an intellectual reasonably high achiever with no romantic connection has lesser(expereince/knowledge) value, compared to a person whose had the girlfriend/bf . A person whose had romantic relationships with many people/many different kinds of people/interesting and hip people  has more, than a person whose had romantic relationship just one or few or people who are the same or people who are not so hip…despite experiencing more positive moments romantically by having sex more number of times but with just the same partner.
But a person who has had romantic relationships, and has achieved high may be better than someone who is a casanova but hasnt really achieved anything else intellectually/ skill wise or other kinds of experience wise.
So to rephrase the above equation and its implication..when a person with past romantic relationships and swag compare himself with A person with lot of knowledge and less experiences and relationships, they compare themselves in 2 ways 1) Higher skill level / potential 2) Fitness(considering the positive moments gradient).
Regarding the positive moments – it has past and future components
1) Number of positive moments in the past(been there,done that)…the swag wins(becoz of the gradient factor and the number of times we compare each other based on, is higher for fun/relationships rather than intellectual)..but this does not affect their comparing each other to see who is gonna do well in future..although like i mentioned past experiences give one some good memories and know hows for future.
2) Number of positive moments in the future(which determines who is better/well equiped for the future when the compare themselves) ..it depends on a careful analysis of whats required to get positive moment in the future…I mean lets say there is a group with swag/good looks and another with intelligence. The intelligent group can acquire wealth/power and thus consume healthy and become more good-lookin confident and get swag in the future( i mean for their offspring if we talk about really long term, or professionally if we talk about comparing high school youngsters and extrapolating their professional life and stuff). The same way the Currently good-looking swag group can also try to get smart and wise, and their good looks wont disappear but it will get transmitted in their genes as well for some generations.  The question is which is harder to get..good looks or intelligence and which is gonna get you more peace of mind or happiness or positive moments in the future. I mean if the intelligent continue to be intellgent and good looking continue to be good looking, even the future would favour the good looking, ideally speaking..but things can change.
Another factor for comparitive positive moments  is, are people gonna compare each other based on intelligence or looks?. I mean in a company its gonna be wit and in a club its gonna be looks. Although its not difficult to say people compare themselves more from a look/fun perspective than a wit perspective.This situation also determines which trait is gonna give them more positive moments.But this is just a sub-factor of the above criteria just like the fitness gradient to the positive moments, this is just the number of positive moments.
The person who is gonna have more positive moments overall — past + projected future is the better person in all circumstances
The important thing to realise is that ones past experiences thus doesnt stop with that individual but also includes his ancestors and associated group members and so does the future also extends to a person’s group and future offsprings. The projected positive moments of future thus depends on the ability to pass on a potential to the offsprings or related group. Genetic traits of look do pass on, but intelligence I guess depnds on nature(genetics) as well as nurture to a higher percent(refer articles related to classifying Intelligence).
So above is the first criteria of comparison..regarding who is gonna have more positive experiences. The second is simply who is better at skills. Its something like this….The potential of scoring chicks is a potential which may be 80 points (according to the difficulty in achieveng the looks,sophistication – all the physical and intellectual components behind it) that is if you were brad pitt. whereas the skill to be a reknowned String theorist or a public intellectual has 100 points, becoming the president has 90 points and so on. But the life points/positive moments gradient of scoring chicks is pretty high…lets say 60 , and the gradient points for being a physicist is low like say 40 . And climbing the everest..may be it has a difficulty level of 70, but its gradient point is low such as just 10.  The application of brain muscle is a lot harder and has more points than applying the physical muscle. Although a physicist has put a lot of effort in understanding high concepts in physics, a politician must have put a lot of intellectual effort in becoming popular and a president as well.
So to give a points estimate to each of the component wrt  Skill/Inherent potential(considering the genetic factor behind looks/intelligence) // Gradient for influencing people and having positive life moments – (not actual positive ife moments theyve had)
looks/Swag/ Class = 80// 60  (brad pitt). reg 60 I have mentioned why impressing girls/having a class or background, carry a lot of life points. And not all can be good looking.Swag actually means a combination of physical looks and a know how on being cool – in total giving it 80 points on a hypothetical scale used here. this translates as an effort of 80 points in the direction of looks will get you a score of 60 wrt positive life moments one can expect in the future.
Intelligence = 100 //40 (a quality physicist/public intellectual ).  reg 40 ..people who know they are intelligent also feel good about it from time to time and intelligence helps when you are dealing with people and Intelligence also plays a role in being engaging and attractive. To understand the advanced Physics and being able to comprehend the highest of logics, it requires a lot of brain effort. The intellectual effort to become a theoretical physicist or reasonable calibre thus requires more effort than the effort(intellectual and physical) needed to become swag,sophisticated and also including the genetically carried component for the effort your ancestors might have put in their time(even intelligence has a genetic component)
A record holding athlete/mountaineer = 70/30  .30 is associated with the benefits of athleticism and the temporary fame and benefits a star athlete might get. 70 coz I guess its not an easy thing to become an olympic medalist or a mountaineer who on occasions might have risked his life.
The president  = 90 //100 ….100 coz the millions of lives he gets to touch in small gradients.
So the theoretical physicist should feel superior to the player(and momentarily feel superior), but understand that the player is gonna have more positive moments overall.Of course the whole equation has to be integrated over time, considering the actual positive moments theyve had in the past and projected ones for future based on skill.And people have different scores for different components as well. Iron man has high scores in all components i guess. The scores regarding the difficulty to achieve a skill and the impact a particular skill can have  were just what i felt like — I guess it can be further analysed, explained and altercated – like explaining how Intellectual skill is more difficult to attain than physical strength and why it will be more influential, and the different orientation of Intellect (like science or wit or dating know how or style) or physical strenght and how each of them score wrt attainability and influencing positive moments.
If you have connected/discussed with noam chomsky/einstein a deep concept you thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). If youve impressed/connected and had sex with a hot and classy chick thats a positive moment(the pleasure,re-assurance and maybe something gained). Even without not getting to discuss with prominent physicist or intellectuals, you can sometimes know that you have the intellectual capability. But without ever having had sex or only getting to have sex lesser times with not so hot people, can you claim to be a swag guy???  this is where the above axe ad situation and the reasoning above can be used. the answer is yes. Ranbir has more swag and potential to attract women despite not having many clicks. You can be a swag guy stuck  in a prison somewhere and its only your bad luck and circumstances such as you conservative background that you lack the experience.
So now think of the girl/guy of your dreams. Why do we feel good about it if we all get our girl/guy of our dream? and why do we generally want them to be good looking/fun/wealthy/good/et etc ..the qualities we expect?
When we get the person of our dreams and experience being with them, you basically make an impact on them. When a single celled amoeba consumes a piece of organic material around, and gets bigger in size and then reproduces/splits into two – the end result of the whole process a piece of organic thing being converted into the form of an amoeba. So the life force present in the original amoeba, has impacted surrounding matter. So thats the only objective behind every life/matter and the force that makes them..to make an impact someway on the medium around(it wud be a good thing to refer to my ‘The medium’ post). The only bad thing for a force is not make its impact on anything…or do something that ultimately leads to ceasing of its existence as an organism/ unit and its impact on anything . When organic/living things turn to dust,the stationary forces within the matter of dust doesnt get to make a lot of impact on surrounding objects, only living things do in comparison. Thus the existence of force as an alive organism is better than being trapped in a dead/lifeless object – i mean you gotta imagine this from the level of a basic force not from the point of an advanced being.
So coming back to having your hot partner, you have both made an impact as well as received impacts from them and shaped each other. Thats why its good. All those people at the top – rich,powerful,hot are all the ones that are making more of an impact in this world. people with power,money,creativity,kindness ..whether you can accept and imagine it or not will be able to make more of an impact.The same goes to hot people. Coz hot people somehow also tend to get to preferred and get to the top and influence the other impactful people. Maybe you can appreciate someone who can feed a 100 poor for a day or a month, but the CEO of a large corp defintley makes a bigger impact in this world overall. And thats why you are trying to maximise your impact by trying to being with those at the top and impacting them and being impacted by them.With a hot partner , you think you can have a hot kid – your creation who will be more impactful. So I guess now you’ll be able to understand the totality of wanting to be with hot/successful/impactful people.
In conclusion there are 3 ways to compare yourself with others
1) pure inherent potential level - by which a star athlete can even be on the higher side coz he has put in a lot of effort to acquire a some skill. But intelligence tends to have the highest points for of skill/potential – as mentioned in the scales above
2a) Experienced positive moments - It is the actual positive moments one experiences. generally guys with the swag factor tend to have more positive moments in life.
2b) Future positive moments (projected through your fitness for Life) - This takes into combination the skill level/inherent potential multiplied by a factor of fitness gradient. Chances are a really intelligent guy can score high on the fitness scales compared to a guy with swag. the more the fitness level – more forecasted future positive moments.
3) Actual Impact made : the impact made by the life force that makes up your cells, on the other living/non-living things in this world and shapes future events and things. This is the ultimate purpose of the life force within you . I mean the higher scores in 2a, probably higher here as well but not always the case like explained above. even an average guy can get to save the lives of a lot of people and be impactful and a hero/villain in this world.
I hope the above criteria will give you some clarity on sizing up yourself against people you meet and determining who is better or to find solutions to your dating/relationship anxieties. The one with the better life is not the one who has more talent or pleasure,which are just proxies, but the one whose made the most impact on people and things. So when you r in a mall or a public place and you see others with hotter girlfriends or act like they are classier or sophisticated, just think that they are fortunate in the looks aspect(which is a more important trait for survival ) and score high in aspect 2( pleasurable moments in life) whereas you – if you happen to be intelligent-a higher trait have more points in aspect 1(pure inherent potential).
Now the human/animal brain is not perfect..We are supposed to feel pleasure for the things that increases our survival and objective and feel pain for things that decreases our objective. However, take the case of drug addicts or people who eat too much food..or just the act of jacking off, people feel pleasure doing these but it does not necessarily mean that they have made a big impact or positively contributed to their objective through that particular act. The same pleasure is felt by someone who actually impregnates a partner and makes a big impact that way, compared to someone who is just doing it wearing a condom or just wacking off to porno.  So more pleasurable existence doesnt mean a more impactful existence. Although good looking people, or rather people higher in component 2 will make heads turn and have more chance of influencing people, really intelligent people have a chance of affecting a lot of people/lives in a big way by means of inventing something or becoming a leader/ public intellectual etc – and thus people with higher score in component 1 has a higher chance of making a really big impact on the world. In order to make an impact , it doesnt mean one has to mingle and keep socialising all the time with all the people. People also are selective in choosing their friends and circle coz they dont wanna waste their effort on someone who is easily impressed – coz with those people the impact you made on them will be short lived. Or if some one was to hang out with dumb or classless people, what they are and their confidence level decreases and has a negative impact on themselves. So people do exercise discretion, but sub-consciously its all about maximising your objective function – which is to make an impact.